Steady Progress

Every night when I go to bed I play over in my mind how the day went. In the past I would obsess about what I didn't get done. Than I would lay awake attempting to figure out how I was to get everything done the next day. I became more & more focused on what I "had" to do or "needed" to do. Due to events in my life I have been taught that it isn't about the "to do list" it is about the reason I created the "list". For example: Today is my sons birthday; my past behavior would have been obsessing about making it a special day, decorating his room, making his favorite breakfast, birthday shopping weeks in advance, making sure the presents are wrapped and ready to go. Invitations would be sent out for his party (family or friend). The house would be cleaned three or four times prior to family coming over, cake would be made, gift bags would be created (even for family members), and then the home would be decorated to reflect that is was some ones birthday. Of course there would be a theme assigned to this birthday. Did I mention that during all this I still have household duties, working full-time (meaning a 10 hr work day), volunteer time at school, and seeing to my husband and daughters needs also. Honestly, I am becoming tired reviewing my past behaviors. I realized I did all this for him to make up for not being there all the time. Also, to prove to everyone else I am a great mom (even though I felt like I was failing in so many ways.)

Now a days I go to sleep being thankful for all the things I was able to accomplish and forgive myself for those I didn't. I treasure the moments I have with my children. So today after I finish writing this my son and I are off to spend the day together. What ever that looks like. Family will come over for a party and only receive cupcakes (that his aunt is making). I think that is progress.

I ask you what is the reason for your "to do list"?

Guidance for Today is: Believe, Healthy Eating, Practice Makes Perfect once again uncertainty surrounds all of them.

I Surrender & Trust