Some days don't you just want to through caution to the wind, jump into every puddle you see, eat dessert before or rather than dinner, not clean up after yourself (in every sense of the word)? I like to call this attitude the "rebel" archetype. Not to be confused with the inner child. The "rebel" is the one that comes out when you feel the urge to punch your boss in the nose, trip a co-worker, play solitaire instead of writing the memo. For me when the "rebel" shows up I recognize that I am taking things way to serious and that I am pushing to hard. I have shared the experience of what happens to me when I push to hard. I get put into "time out" or "Pause" and you all know how much I love that. I have begun documenting when the "rebel" shows up, how soon after am I put into "time out". It isn't long. So, now that I have this information I am beginning a new experiment I am hoping this will prevent me from being put into "time out". When I have the sudden urge to kick the dog, because she walked by I tell myself that I may benefit more from turning up the radio and singing my heart out. Another example is on the way home from a meeting this morning I saw a pedestrian looking like she was going to dart across the street right in front of me and my thought was "I dare you ." I took the position of a bumper car driver, elbows out and squinty eyes. It was at this point, I thought "what would you do if you actually hit her." "Freak out" was my response. From this conversation I realized what I really wanted to do was have a good "Freak out", so rather than creating a very unhealthy reason to. I screamed really loud, it made my throat hurt. I must say I feel a ton better. I recommend you try it. For me this is a better way of "rebelling".
I surrender and trust.
Guidance for today is: Retreat, Stress Management (unsure), Healing (unsure)
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