Healing more

Last week I was asked to speak for a women's group. It was a luncheon named "Witchy Luncheon" it is an annual event. They asked me to speak on "How to better themselves". Because I am me, I thought it would be more appropriate to talk about how to be a "Good" witch and give examples to know the difference between a "Good" witch and a "Bad" one. I was rather excited to talk about it and thought what an awesome learning experience for us all. My talk took less than 10 minutes. It was suppose to be 20 minutes. When it was all over with the room was utterly silent and they all seemed to waiting for more. I ended up telling them "that's it folks". My ego took over saying you did a horrible job as no one is coming up and telling you that they enjoyed it. I took a deep breathe and walked out to my car, worked really hard at not crying, and than I was told by that higher part of me that "You made them uncomfortable, they do not know what to say or do. Do not be little yourself as this is what you wanted to happen." This comment caused other parts of myself to make retorts such as "why in the hell would she want to cause them discomfort", "She didn't make them uncomfortable, that are not ready to hear what she has to say." I took another deep breathe and went back into face the people as the inner dialogue continued. As I spoke with individuals on the luncheon committee I made excuses for the reason it was so short and justified the topic. Needless to say I walked away feeling a complete failure. A part of me still does, as this is the reason I am writing about it. I wanted to release it to the universe and say, I did my part "good" or "bad" I did it. I am healing from this too. It was a learning experience.

I surrender and trust.