Avoiding Part 2

Second step into battle.

After my client left, a friend and I meet to go to my niece's baby shower. I was still feeling the effects of an attack, the residual fear and anxiety from the two individuals that had shown up in my office. I couldn't think straight or feel anything but those emotions unil friend and her fear of meeting my in-laws showed up. I had to make a conscience effort to stay focused on where I was going even though I hadn't a clue where this house was. I am grateful that we arrived safely and the only damage that occurred was me taking the rivets off of the bottom of my car when I pulled into a drive-way that was rather high. Before I left the car I took several cleansing breaths to ground me and clear my thoughts.

It was a two-story brick and siding home with beautiful front and back yard. Balloons hung everywhere announcing where the shower was to be. Hurray, it was to be held outside, I could sit with my shoes off and not have to worry about being in a room full of hormones. (That's all I need to add to the emotional party I already have going on.)Only, downside I could see was I would be required to go in to get food. I greeted everyone, introduced them to my friend and choose a place to stand away from most of the people, but close enough to hold a conversation. (This is a self defence mechanism I developed being married to someone who is a tad paranoid. You can see who is coming and going if you are facing the entrance and your back is protected with a wall, friend or other solid object.) I have found this technique to be very beneficial. I can sense people as they come in and know who to help, protect myself from and whom to avoid any physical contact with. Note: I do not do this to be anti-social, a snob, or uncaring. I do this purely out of self defense and protection. ( I shall explain more of this at another time)
All was going well, I visited with family and my friend. Than it hit me, a wave of dizziness. I took a couple of deep breaths and told my friend I was getting some food. I stumbled into the house hoping that if I got food it alleviate the dizziness. First I had to get through the mountain of people in the house. I talked myself out of a panic attack by clarifying "That there were not a mountain of people in there only 4. With the possibility of more coming in. If I was quick I would be okay." Made it in and trapped myself in the kitchen. Everyone else was on the outside of the counter and only one person in the kitchen, safe place? wrong, now I can not get out. "Focus on the food and lite conversation. Focus on the food & lite conversation" became my mantra. With what seemed to be an hour I finally made it back outside to a sunny/shady spot. The dizziness was getting worse. I sat down and begin to eat. The dizziness let up a little as I ate, but never fully went away, which let me know that I was under attack again. "Seriously, why can I not be left alone?" was my first thought. I won't type the second and third thoughts as I am attempting to keep this "PG". Any how, I realize I am getting into an unsafe zone, but how do you politely tell your friend and relatives that you have to leave NOW or may I borrow your garden hose for a moment or two, I only want to walk in it; Without coming across as being rude and abrasive or even worse weird. Either way I would end up having to explain my actions, and I don't believe that any of them want to hear my reasons. I said my goodbye's saying we had to be to another party. My friend and I left. Before we got into our separate cars we discussed where we would meet to ride together to the next party. When she headed to her car I noticed the neighbors had their sprinklers on.I about did a jigg right there. I headed right over to them and found the nearest puddle to walk through. All the while praying that my friend didn't see what I was doing. After doing this I felt better. I jumped into my car asking for more protection and guidance as we headed to the next party.

I shall share that tomorrow.

FYI: Types of attacks that I experience & how they effect me.

Leeches: I call them this, because this is what they remind me of because they latch on to me and hold on for dear life. That is what they take from me, they suck my life force from me. You call this energy. When this happens I become extremely tired, my thought process is out of wack (like it needs any assistance) and I have a screaming headache.

Vampires: These are individuals that have become disconnected from their own soul that they will feed off of anyone. Thing with these though they can be a human, animal or spirit. I have similar effects with these guys as I do with leeches. However with leeches it feels like I am being sucked on like you would a straw. With Vampires it is an automatic drain. It can take less then a minute. Because of how quick it happens. First sign is dizziness, than weak.

Emotional: I carry a happy disposition. Which is like a beacon of light for lost, angry, unhappy, distraught, frightened, anxious, upset, nervous, depressed & wondering souls/individuals. (I am sure there are more that I attract however I didn't want the list to go on forever.) Best way to explain it is that extra perky person you meet, that gets on your nerves so much you want to punch them? Yea it's like that except, it is with your emotions not your thoughts. If you are having a bad day and I run into you, you will pretend that you are doing okay and all, however the emotions that are jumping and slamming into me tell me a whole different story. I therefore, take on your unwanted emotions so that you can function. Yes I can choose whether or not to take it on, however,this is were the attack part comes in some of you are sneaky and will attach it to me like a leech and bam I've got it now. Now imagine everyone in the room doing the same thing. This is the reason I avoid large groups.