Not again

I am continually amazed at how the Angels communicate with me. I began this blog talking about what I had learned for Higher Education. It was deleted. I attempted to write about things I learned in a session with a client, it wouldn't save. So I am writing about what is currently happening as that is where I am. I was asked if I could be a super hero who would I be? I begin with the usual like Buffy (she kicks but), than went to spiritual leaders such as Mother Teresa, Buddha,etc, and than I remembered one of my favorite movies, KUNG FU PANDA. I thought hmmmm I would like to be Panda, than it hit me, I would rather be Master Uhgway (the Turtle). He was smart, gentle, kind, and had a sense of humor. I know he may not be a real super hero, but I think he is. My question still remains, Who would you be?

I Surrender & Trust.

Guidance for today is: Steady Progress, Look Deeper, & Move. Unsure on all accounts.

Wisdom of Disney

I have loved Disney since it first came out. Do you remember watching "Peter and the Wolf" in Fourth grade to learn about musical instruments? That and Snow White are my first memories. As a child Disney made me laugh and feel good. It didn't matter what movie it was I always felt good after watching it. Before I had children I use to get teased about owning every Disney movie, I didn't have children why would I have them. Now that I have children, they tease me about being able to quote from them. I still feel good after watching a Disney movie, but as an adult I see the wisdom in each movie. I was awaken at 1:56 am this morning thinking about how much I have learned from Disney.

I believe yesterday my higher education came from sessions with three amazing women. Each one reminded me of things I had forgotten, had put aside, and my own trigger words. I comment alot about how computers and I don't play well, I am not as computer savvy as most & the fact I am still trying to learn how to use my new phone. Thank you Allyson for correcting me. It isn't that I can not nor that I don't, it is because I would rather not. In truth, it requires me to do concrete thinking, which is a challenge for someone who switches from abstract to fragmented in one sentence. I would like to thank these ladies for assisting me in my growth. There is a saying " a good teacher learns from hers student." Thank you for helping me be that teacher.

How does this connect with Disney, well, last night "Kung Fu Panda" was on. Talk about a movie full of lessons. I watched it with my kids and husband, we laughed, we cried, and I once again had a saying stick in my head, (the one that woke me up) "There is no secret to the secret ingredient soup, it is special because you believe that it is." "You are the secret." Don't get caught up in the "WHY" or "How" accept it and allow it to evolve. I ask you to sit with that thought. So here is what my belief was, that computer work is hard and concrete; yep since I believed it, it was true. My new belief is computers are easy and fun to work with.

I surrender & Trust

Guidance today: Generosity, Vision, Triumphant

Judgement & Stress Management

I am sure none of you have experienced judgement, whether it's you doing the judging or you are being judged. I had an awareness this weekend with stress management in regards to judgement. I had lunch with my friends from high school. I haven't really seen or spoken to most of them in awhile. When we first set it up I was excited, however as the day drew near I became more and more nervous, expressed to others that I didn't want to go. By the morning of I was hoping everyone else would cancel. I told my husband how nervous I was, and he discussed with me the reasons why I may be nervous. The biggest one was "I didn't want to be judged", in high school I felt I had always been judged. I am grown-up (okay not really) and I have an amazing life. In the weeks before this lunch I began creating in my mind how this lunch would go, how each friend would point out my flaws, mistakes and that I hadn't accomplished much since I last saw them. As I was speaking to my husband, I realized I was the one judging me, not them. Isn't it funny what we chose to create stress in our lives. I was allowing a scenario I mentally created to decide how I felt and how I would react. I took a moment to remind myself that I love myself flaws, mistakes and unaccomplished goals and all. The only benefit I gain from causing myself stress & judgment in this matter is insecurity. Which in truth is not me.

I went enjoyed myself and learned a lesson in monitoring my emotions, stress management & healthy eating (when I am stressed I don't eat.) Weird how they all showed up for a lunch.

I surrender & trust!

Guidance for today: You are a leader (sure), Higher Education, & Wise Decision

Sweet

Thank you to all my friends that reminded me of all I am passionate about. It is always fun to hear how others view you. I am very close in finishing my final exam. I was stuck on a question regarding visionary reflection, I had to give an account of a personal experience. I had one last night so, now I only have two more questions, booya. I had a great day yesterday, the miracle that came through was very beneficial, and I am truly thankful for it. Because of that miracle I did find peace. As for my animals, I listened to my ancient kitty, she followed my around all day and insisted on sitting me every time I sat down. The real battle was over who got the heater, of course she won as her bones need it more than me. She is a calming and grounding influence for me, I think she is the one that helped my have my "visionary reflection" experience. I look forward to today's adventure. I Surrender & Trust!

Guidance for today is: Vision (humm, how did I get that one), Child, Don't compromise (doubting)

Numbers to watch for: 554 and 121

Yep, the day got away

Yesterday was one of those days that when you blinked it was over with and you were still trying to recall what it was you did.

My confidence is growing in who I am, I was put in a situation yesterday that made me question that and I am happy to say I didn't compromise so that someone else would feel superior. I also explained to an individual what I do with passion and excitement. It felt great.

My diet is going well. I have been drinking this charcoal stuff and I have discovered it tastes much better in apple juice.

I surrender and trust.

Guidance for today is: Miracle, Peaceful (doubting this), Animals (wondering about this)

Day late or day ahead

I have come to the realization that my guidance is a day ahead. So, like the ones I received yesterday are for today, and the ones I pull for today are for tomorrow. They may even over lap.

I will also admit I am an emotional wreck today. So please send me a hug, cuz I could really use one. I received a sign from heaven, & I am grateful for the confirmation. I know I can lead a horse to water, but I can not make him drink until he is ready. I will probably keep trying though.

I must be on to something there as my ears are ringing and my thoughts are getting scrambled.

Yesterday was a comfortable day. I played with my son, we sang American Revolution for an hour and a half. He kicked my butt. I had coffee with my husband in the late afternoon, and we all went out to dinner. I am grateful to my husband and all he does for me. He certainly is very patient and understanding. Oh, we watched a couple of Supernatural episodes too. My friend Jenny let us borrow the first season. I really can relate to those guys. It hasn't been easy being different. Maybe that is why I am so emotional today, because it hit a nerve.

My search for "the knowledge" continues. I surrender & trust.

Guidance for today & tomorrow is: You will laugh Emotions (surprise), Pause (really again), Believe (doubting)

Computer trouble

I am going to quickly write as my computer keeps kicking me off. I am back, I have now lost my train of thought as I am in hurray to write something. Okay, here it is. I am going to challenge you to a (not a duel) so relax, sometime between now and Tuesday, sit in the dark for two hours. Don't move, don't talk to anyone, don't ask for assistance from anyone. Set a timer, begin writing down what you hear, what you feel, what you see (or think you see), and thoughts you have. I would like to hear how it goes. And I'm gone.

Quickly,I am back; I Surrender and Trust.

Guidance today is: Mother (doubting), Wise Decision, & Triumphant.

Have a great weekend.

Doubt, Fear, Breathe & Repeat

Good Lord, Did the angels kick my butt yesterday.
Do you realize once you open the door, even if it is a crack to doubt it will wiggle its skinny tush right in and make itself at home. Next thing you know it is giving out orders and creating all sorts of havoc. To bad there isn't a Musinex for that.

Here's how it took over, I stated that one of my dreams for the year is to "Treasure Gods gifts." Since that statement, I have been feeling disconnected to them, which in turn has brought "Doubt" a knocking at my door. I opened it a crack and BAM, next thing I know I have friends that won't answer my desperate call, business associate stating that they "doubt" what I do and clients informing me that they are "doubting" their process. Of course this sends me into an "Oh my, what have I done", panic mode. Ta da "FEAR" has now arrived, with thoughts like "I am an idiot, you should go back to bed, quit, it will be so much easier."

Side note: Remember, I asked about tires a couple of days ago? Lets say that I am my car, what would cause me to get a flat tire?

What guidance did I get yesterday, the day before and twice last week? PAUSE and SLEEP. Here is how the angels helped me get out of my doubt follow me here; I was headed to JAWIB meeting and I noticed the gas tank was on E, I thought "I ought to stop for gas, don't have time will get it later." After that meeting I stopped at my mom's passed two gas stations, didn't stop. Finished visiting with my mom and headed to another meeting. Really ought to stop for gas." Thought the car turning in front of me was turning before the light, went around them, only to discover they were in the turn lane. I had to go through the light, which had me turning into a gas station to turn around. Did I Stop? (Let me ask, Do you see the connection yet?) Yes, but only long enough for the other cars to pass so I could get out. While I am waiting for these cars it dawns on me; where are you? why are you not stopping? how much further do you think you can go before you are out of gas?" Automatic response; don't have time got to go. Pulled out and went to that meeting. All the way to the meeting berating myself, it was than it hit me (the angels step in)
#@%#, I am the car, I keep pushing myself, not taking the time to "refuel" myself, by not taking the time to do so, I am opening myself up to more ill effects. When we are tired or not operating at our best we tend to think irrational thoughts, opening us up to negative fuel. If we have to fuel ourselves with something it might as well be empty(Air), until we can stop and get the good stuff.
Guess what I stopped. Did I get a half tank (take 2 minutes to rejuvenate) or did I fill it up?

My angels weren't done; I kept a hold of my phone, while I was waiting for my daughter to come out from dance, when she came out I felt inspired to look at my messages. Imagine how surprised I was to see I had two voice messages. I checked the volume it was on vibrate. I listened to the messages (my two friends returning my desperate call). I deleted them, shut my phone and began backing out. My phone vibrates, I pull out and wait for the light, while at the light I see there is another voice message. When I get home, I listen to my messages, my voice mail says "You have no saved messages, press 1 to return to the main menu". To shorten this story, there is still an envelope on my phone saying I have a voice mail, however when I try to retrieve it, it doesn't exist. I believe this is my "Sign from Heaven".

The lesson here is take time for you, if you start feeling Doubt or Fear STOP, Breathe and look for the truth than begin again. It will take a few times to create this new habit. BE PATIENT!!!! Be Consistent, and committed to seeing it through.

I SURRENDER & TRUST

Today's guidance is: Vision, Play music, & Child (still doubting & my lesson continues)

Ask and you shall receive

Last week I put a question out there to help m define Love and Faith. Well the angels stepped right up. I began reading a book yesterday called "Brida" and the first chapter is all about FAITH and the second chapter is all about Love. Not what I had expected to find in a book with that title. I really like the definitions in there. I recommend you read it.

Yes, I know I didn't write yesterday and it did haunt me. I kept making the excuse I am spending time with my family not the computer today. So, I would like to ask permission to write on weekends as I am inspired to? I did however get to start my book, finish my Vision board and hang out with my family. Yes, I also said I would post a picture of my vision board. I shall do that as soon as I figure out how to attach it. Boy it is only the first week and I feel as if I have broken my word several times. That isn't like me. I will do better in the future.

Oh, the other thing is "Tires" what do tires mean? anyone? I have figured it out and so has one of my friends who graciously shared it with me and therefor "Tires" showed up more than once afterwards. Thank you. You don't play fair, I ended up with a whole trailer full in front of me.

I surrender.

Today's Guidance is: Miracle ( I believe, whoa), Higher Education (doubting) and PAUSE (doubting, surprise). I am rebelling against this one again, I paused last week for two days. I can not Pause again. I repeat, I SURRENDER.

Generosity, Vision, & Activist

Food for thought; Is a habit formed first and than a routine, or do you create a routine that turns into a habit? I think it is the later. However, somethings seem to be a habit before you have ever create a routine such as biting your nails.

I have known for awhile that I am uncomfortable being in large groups, I will find a spot on the outer rim and mingle from this spot. Yesterday, I got caught in the middle. I had a small panic attack. Does this mean my panic attack was from my routine being broken or from a habit being disrupted?
Later on I went to dinner with friends and a similar thing happened, I arrived late and so, I was unable to choose my place at the table. Which was smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. Needless to say I had a hard time eating. No, I don't suffer from social anxiety, being an empath I feel more vulnerable being in the center of any room. My habit of being off to the side was created to help me feel safe. What habits or routines do you create to help you feel safe?

As for my angels, they were busy: My daughter pointed out that there was an office space available and that once I had it people will come in just to find out what I do (Vision). I am unsure what I was an Activist for (hence the doubt) and as for the Generosity, feels weird discussing it. Because if I talk about it will it be genuine? I will leave it at that.

I surrender and trust!

Today's guidance is: Heaven is watching over me, Freedom (doubting this), Practice makes perfect. All guardian angels. Thank you.

WWTA day 5

Hurray, I got most of my vision board done. I will post a picture of it tomorrow. I would like to add a few touches. I am so grateful for the awareness that I received yesterday.One of my friends stopped by and gave me a awake up kick in the butt. Instead of belittling and chastising myself for not working on my vision board the day before, I nurtured myself and find out the reason why. FEAR of what I may create this year to look like. That is when my friend stopped by and reminded me that I have the option to change it. Thank you friend. I took most of the afternoon doing it. I must admit it looks awesome. I loved the interactions I had yesterday and all of the things I became aware of. One of them is defining Faith and Love, which reappeared as a reminder and a mirror during a session with a client. What is your definition of Faith and Love? I looked up both in Websters dictionary, it doesn't truly fit mine, so I am asking you; maybe that will help me. Thank you for your help. I surrender.


Today's guidance: Activist (doubting that I could be one), Generosity, and Vision. Note time: 2:12 pm