Living

How are we living life? Are we living it for ourselves or are we living it so that others will be accepting? Are we living it to take care of everyone else but ourselves? I am constantly asked "How can I live my life without feeling guilty or selfish?" My answer is "What is selfish"? When you have your definition you will than be able to decide. As for the guilt you feel, this is an emotion that our elders used to keep us in line (still works) because we allow it to. This is also how we continue the circle by using it on others. In my early twenties I had a boss that was a wise man. I truly admire and respect him for all he taught me. How not to feel guilty was one of them. He use to tease me endlessly about it. He would put me into situations where I would feel large amounts of guilt and then he would teach me how to turn it around. I would go into more detail, but I ramble enough as it is. His favorite saying to me was "Guilt is a useless emotion and it only benefits those who are inflecting it on you." I understand what he is saying and to a point I agree however the "Useless" part I disagree with. To me this is a check-in. Once you feel guilt it reminds you who has the power. Obviously, not you?

I had a growing weekend. I meet new people and with stood their judgement and how I make them uncomfortable. I respect that and understand how I do. Trust me there are days I make me uncomfortable. This is my life and I chose to live it this way for now, two-twenty minutes from now I may decide to add. For now I am at peace and loving who am I.

I Surrender & Trust

Guidance for Today is: Mother, Don't Compromise, Healing

Neglecting

How do you know if you are neglecting something or someone? Neglect comes in all sorts of levels & shapes. For example the laundry pile, if you do it once a month because its only you than no big deal. If you do it once a month when there is more than three of you problems begin to appear. All of you run out of clean clothes, a wonderful odor takes over the home & others start to complain. Which in turn irritates you cause if they want clean clothes what is stopping them from doing it themselves (okay so he is only 5, he will have to learn some day). My point is this, neglect may start out small, eventually it will grow bigger if you don't do something about it. Yes, I am feeling guilty for something I neglected. I could make this in to how horrible a daughter I am, but I am choosing to take the high road and recognize that I neglected to call and invite my Mother over for Easter dinner. I "assumed" (yep, now I am paying for it), that she went over to my sister's. I spoke with my sister and she thought our Mother went to our other sister's. Long story short, neither of us called to ask. At this point I still do not know what my Mother did for Easter. I have learned that my siblings and I might benefit from creating a "custody" program so this doesn't happen again or ever.

See how the angels reminded me of my neglect. "Great now I have guilt." JK.

Thank you angels for reminding me to take care of what matters most.

Guidance for Today is: Higher Education (unsure), Don't Compromise, Steady Progress (unsure)

P.S. I change my intention of looking like a Victoria Secret model to Jennifer Garner in Elektra.

I Surrender & Trust