Spirit of Christmas

With it being Christmas and everyone in "the spirit", I can not help wonder what causes this. Most everyone I talk to complain about how commercialized it has become, having to buy so and so a gift and how they plan to have back-up gifts in case someone they hadn't planned on giving a gift to gives them one. When I ask the reason for this they all say one of two things "It is expected" or "Karma, if I don't give it will come back and get me". Both of these answers surprises me, as neither of them speak of what Christmas is about. I to for years bought into the having to give everyone a gift and it caused me stress and anxiety. When I didn't get what I wanted I was extremely disappointed. It was five years ago that I stopped. I don't give a gift unless I am inspired to do so, I receive each gift with appreciation as someone took the time to think of me. Even though most have begun to believe I don't practice Christmas. (I do, only not in the way that most do). The fact that they still give me a gift even though I may not practice it the way they do lets me know that they truly do care. So I ask you what is the "spirit " of Christmas & how do you access it? I hear people say they watch Christmas specials or listen to the Christmas music; others say it is through the children. For me this year it was when I began exercising; " I have been given much & I would like to share". I don't have to share, nor am I feeling it is expected. I am doing it because I desire to. This is the spirit that will carry me through until next year. If the giving comes from the heart with no strings, expectations or justifications than it is a true gift. The next step is the receiving of this gift and that is completely up to you. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas.

Out of Sorts

I was thinking about writing about "commitment" some more today and than some one asked if I would write about "karma" there seems to be confusion on how this actually works. It is my turn to write today and I can not seem to get my brain to write about anything. OK, it doesn't want to do much of anything and it isn't only today I had this issue yesterday also. My husband threatened to send me to bed early last night as I was no longer making any sense. What causes these bouts of scattered thinking? I suppose it depends on who you talk to; one person will say "you are dehydrated", another would say "not enough sleep", another "stress". I would love to say it was one of these, how ever I can not I will admit the truth. My brain is having a melt down. I am sure none of you have ever had one of these. With that said wait until Thursday for me to write about "commitment or karma" until than.

I surrender & trust

Distractions

Due to the plethora of distractions I create for myself I haven't written. I could say "It must mean I wasn't meant to write." that would not be the truth. I chose not to. So, I am writing today to thank you all for being patient with me as I begin creating the new habit of writing on this blog. I have asked for reminders to help me to follow through, however the reminders I receive happen at times that are not at all helpful, like while I am driving or in the middle of a store. I am working on rewiring the reminders also. I am sure none of you have experienced this kind of rewiring.

As for distractions, I do appreciate them as they help me either stay strong on what is important or remind me on how easily I can be lead astray. Distractions come in all shapes and sizes. From a thought to a traffic accident. For me one of my distractions was the printer jamming repeatedly. I do realize the more frustrated I became the more the printer jammed. I had to walk away. My husband unjammed it this morning. Guess what this email can even be considered a distraction, especially if you are using it to prevent yourself from doing a unlikeable task.

I will not be a contributor to you delinquency. So, move forward.

I surrender & trust

Dark Side of Appreciation

I learned about this on Sunday. I have been working on the Steps to Gratitude for a class I taught on Saturday. If you understand the process of learning you open yourself up to information coming in from many resources. I had been working on the lesson for this class for two months. Even, after the class I was open to learning more and I was informed about the dark side of Appreciation. I was surprised to learn this as I hadn't ever thought of this as even being apart of Appreciation. It is what happens to distract us from achieving Grace. What is the dark side? Infatuation. When you appreciate something so much that you have to have it which than turns to must have; which may than turn into need. You are in infatuation now instead of appreciation. Once it becomes a need you now have an addiction. Here is an example: I appreciate a cup of coffee so much I would like to have more. I receive another cup of coffee and I am not satisfied so I will get another one. I have it but feel as if I need another. Hope this makes sense.

Senses

With the cold season coming up many of us are dreading the possibilities of getting one. May I suggest taking a moment to enjoy the fact. I know this sounds strange especially when you don't feel well. Have you ever heard of when one of your senses is compromised the others will intensify? Example: If you are blind your hearing becomes better? Have you ever had a hang-over? When you woke up were your senses overly sensitive? This is kind of what happens with a cold, if you have a head cold your body aches do to compensation. It has to feel everything so you can process your world, since your brain can not do it. I challenge you to test my theory. The next time your nose is clogged see if your eyesight seems a little sensitive. I am currently testing this theory as my eyes have been bothering me, so my ears seem to have increased in their ability and I cringe at sounds, I've been turning everything down. I also notice I am extra jumpy as my "feelers" sense things quickly. It can be unnerving.

I surrender & trust

Time out

Shhhhhhhhhh@#. Today started out as an amazing day, I got my children off to school without a fight. One of them even showered without me threatening some bodily harm if it didn't happen. My husband was home, he got to sleep in. I sent off many correspondences. Studied than took my Progress Test 1 for my new class. Which is amazing. Around 10:30 things went to shhhhhhhhh@#. What happened in this time frame is a mystery. Mt husband remembered a meeting that he had to go to, so he left. I receive a notice that my client had canceled for this evening. I decided that sense my husband went off to work I would go to a business lunch. It took me three attempts to get out the door before I was able to actually leave. Upon leaving I found more Idaho visitors than I have in I am not sure. New to the area, they weren't sure where they were going and couldn't decide if they were turning, staying in the lane or stopping randomly. When the first Idaho car stopped randomly I saw a Hawk free gliding over the road. Sweet. I continued on the way, the third Idaho visitor drove really really slow as there were two dogs not deciding if they were going to cross the road or walk down the middle of it. At this point it is 11:36 the luncheon started at 11:30. The Fourth Idaho visitor decided to turn left from the lane he was in despite the fact that there was a center lane who could turn from. I arrived at the lunch only to discover that they were not meeting there. After much swearng on my part I headed home. Than I remembered that I had library books to return (one of those trips back into the house). I stopped at the new library to drop them off and about ran over another Idaho visitor stopped in the parking lot aisle. Which in the longer made me grateful as it made me turn into the lane where the drop off was. When I pushed the books in, the door slammed on my fingers and cut them. I decided at this point it was best if I went home. I followed the fifth Idaho visitor all the way to my street. GRRRRRR. I took this as I am in time out.

I surrender & trust.

Healing more

Last week I was asked to speak for a women's group. It was a luncheon named "Witchy Luncheon" it is an annual event. They asked me to speak on "How to better themselves". Because I am me, I thought it would be more appropriate to talk about how to be a "Good" witch and give examples to know the difference between a "Good" witch and a "Bad" one. I was rather excited to talk about it and thought what an awesome learning experience for us all. My talk took less than 10 minutes. It was suppose to be 20 minutes. When it was all over with the room was utterly silent and they all seemed to waiting for more. I ended up telling them "that's it folks". My ego took over saying you did a horrible job as no one is coming up and telling you that they enjoyed it. I took a deep breathe and walked out to my car, worked really hard at not crying, and than I was told by that higher part of me that "You made them uncomfortable, they do not know what to say or do. Do not be little yourself as this is what you wanted to happen." This comment caused other parts of myself to make retorts such as "why in the hell would she want to cause them discomfort", "She didn't make them uncomfortable, that are not ready to hear what she has to say." I took another deep breathe and went back into face the people as the inner dialogue continued. As I spoke with individuals on the luncheon committee I made excuses for the reason it was so short and justified the topic. Needless to say I walked away feeling a complete failure. A part of me still does, as this is the reason I am writing about it. I wanted to release it to the universe and say, I did my part "good" or "bad" I did it. I am healing from this too. It was a learning experience.

I surrender and trust.